I guess this week has turned into No Fluff, Real Talk week 🙂 So today I am going to talk about another subject I am close to: Abuse. Abuse comes in many forms; Physical, Emotional, Psychological, Sexual. (to name the 4 basics) In my experience, abuse isn’t a one time deal, nor is it a one “type” experience. In my past I have received multiple forms of abuse from the same abuser.
We all know and have possibly read studies on how abuse takes its toll on a human over-all; child or adult. Here are the quick A,B,C’s of Abuse from my point of view. I don’t have a degree in psychology, though I have seen some therapists in my day. I also want to be clear that my experience is from my past, I no longer deal with abuse only effects from past abuse (anxiety). All individuals can be effected differently, trust yourself, if you feel you are being abused you have the right to talk to someone you trust about it and make steps to better your own life.
A = Affect (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/affect)
This is an emotional response that creates an effect on the person. This can also stand for Affection, how an abused individual relates to others is dynamically changed. Walls can be built to keep people out. An outgoing person can become introverted and reserved. I was a promiscuous girl seeking male affection thinking it was “love” and just wanting to be loved.
Abuse effects the biochemistry of the individual being abused. The mind becomes rewired for how to deal with stresses and these new directives can lead to mental health issues; including PTSD and anxiety disorders. These issues can also lead to chemical addictions within the victim. One may become over confident or even be abusive to others in an attempt to gain control of anything for themselves.
C = Confidence (or lack there of) (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem)
Abuse can break a person down in all ways and it can be hard to get up. I have worked hard to forgive myself, even if it wasn’t my fault. I have learned to love myself again, though sometimes it can be hard. Sometimes words or memories seep into my mind unwanted and I have to face them head on or allow myself to wilt. Remember that you are enough and you are loved! Get a good support system of people you trust.
Being a survivor means something and the road of abuse can end with you. Don’t ever feel wrong for reaching out for help; find a trusted friend, Pastor or counselor. And most of all remember you are not alone and you can make a difference in your life and in the lives of others.
As someone on the outside, if you witness abuse tells someone! If you are comfortable stepping in, talk to someone who can help. http://www.thehotline.org/contact/